"The Altar and the Door" and Somewhere in Between

Many times in the previous blog, I have posted lyrics by Casting Crowns. Their music and lyrics speak to me and they really touch my spirit. The song "The Altar and the Door" really touches me as it really hits the nail on the head - how can I be sure that I won't mess up between the praise I give at church and when I leave the church to live a daily life. In many ways, this song portrays many individuals lives. Here is a look at the lyrics:

 "The Altar And The Door"

Careless, I am reckless
I'm a wrong way traveling, slowly unraveling shell of a man
Burnt out, I'm so numb now
That the fire's just an ember way down in the corner of my cold, cold heart

Lord, this time I'll make it right
Here at the altar I lay my life
Your kingdom come but my will was done
My heart is broken

As I cry
Like so many times before
But my eyes
Are dry before I leave the floor
Oh Lord, I try
But this time, Jesus, how can I be sure
I will not lose my follow-through
Between the altar and the door?

Here at the altar
Oh my world so black and white
How could I ever falter
What You've shown me to be right

Lord, this time I'll make it right
Here at the altar I lay my life
Your kingdom come but my will was done
My heart is broken

As I cry
Like so many times before
But my eyes
Are dry before I leave the floor
Oh Lord, I try
But this time, Jesus, how can I be sure
I will not lose my follow-through
Between the altar and the door?

I'm trying so hard
To stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are
Lord, who You are in me

Jesus
I'm trying so hard
To stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are
Lord, who You are in me

Oh Lord, I cry
Like so many times before
But my eyes
Are dry before I leave the floor
Oh Lord, I try
But this time, Jesus, how can I be sure
I will not lose my follow-through
Between the altar and the door?

When I'm at church learning more of what I don't understand, I know that I'm getting closer to God; however, when I leave, I don't want to let Him down. I want to make sure that I carry through on my words. I want to make sure that I am on the right side, always making the best decisions. I don't want to be stuck in the middle, in the gray area of life, where I would trade a single dream for His. I don't want to feel like my to-do list for my life is better than His. He leads my life, not me. I may think that I want to be an accountant and I want to get my MBA and CPA. I may think that I need to have a great job that provides a lot of money so that I can be secure. I may think that life revolves around my schooling and my career, but it doesn't! Life revolves around the One True God!!!

I don't want to be luke-warm in my faith, I want to be burning with it. I want to abandon to Him, I want nothing more than to live for Him and the path that He wants my life to go. He will introduce me to people who are meant to test me, hinder me, help me, and people that I am to help. I pray that He gives me the ability to know the difference between these individuals. To know who to run from and who to I should stick around to help. Who can tell me who these people are except God, no one. I ask for God to open my eyes, I ask for Him to show me what I am supposed to do with my life and what I can do to serve Him. Let His will be done in my life for the war that is within me is strong and I cannot deny temptation without Him.